The famous movie star, Ian Calloni, has died at the age of 36. Mr Calloni’s agent confirmed the star had been battling Sexual Tension for the last 20 years. It is understood that the actor had been having moments of intense anxiety when in the presence of beautiful women in local libraries, newsagents and wherever he went. Fellow stars, Ton Crews and David Breakhands are said to be in deep shock at the news and many women across Ireland are now relieved that the Italian/Irish star will now be at the end of his tension.
Calloni, the star of many romantic comedies, is understood to have no children from no marriages and this, it is believed, was the reason for his tension. Doctors treating the Lothario say that if not treated in time ST can lead to severe symptoms developing. “No-one should suffer from this form of ST. Only with the steamiest sex sessions can the condition be managed. ” Dr S. Ex, a Japanese expert on ST, told reporters.
In a bid to cure himself of ST, Mr Calloni made several trips to Thailand but the disease had spread all over his mind and body and local sex therapists say there was nothing that could have been done. Chung Tai, a sex expert in the famous Asian nation, has written several books on ST and says that “the most severe strains in some men can lead to death and this is what happened to Mr Calloni”.
Mr Calloni’s funeral will be in Dublin following a removal. “I would love to have shagged that man” Roxy Jordan, a local socialite told the congregation, “Maybe some more action would have cured him, it’s so sad”. “It’s a shame, he was a ride”, added top Irish model, Pussy Phelan. Mr Calloni’s family have asked that only the sexiest women in Ireland should bury the body and that only red roses be tossed into the grave. A special erection is planned for next Valentines Day.
Human Rights campaigners have set up a charity, Campaign ST, to try and fund development into the condition. There will be fund raising sex sessions performed in numerous Sex clubs all over Ireland on Valentines Day coming (and hopefully there will be plenty of coming!). Dr Ex says the problem is not the end of the world: “ST should be taken seriously and not ignored. It is perfectly possible to live a normal life but with plenty of sex”. Dr Ex says approx 0 people suffer from ST annually in Ireland and Mr Calloni should think himself unlucky.
Anyone wishing to make a donation to Campaign ST should contact the following number: sxsxsx exex xsxex xsx
14 February 2009
11 February 2009
Pete Doherty V Pat Kenny
Sorry folks - I have just watched (21st March) the Late Late Show with PD and Kenny is extremely patronising and condescending in it. However Doherty is equally as charmless. One of the worst, most cringe-inducing interviews I have ever seen. Judge for yourselves:
I was out drinking with the staff of TOTALLY DUBLIN last Friday night and was blissfully unaware that Pete Doherty was appearing on that night's LATE LATE SHOW. Even had I known of his presence I wouldn't care a tuppence. PD or his music does not remotely interest me.
But there has been some anger generated by Pat Kenny's interview style, specifically referring to Doherty as a 'junkie'. Some of the criticism directed at Kenny was justified and it is true he probably is out of touch with music the Babyshambles star is famous for. Pat is 61 and by that age you have a way of living that may not be in harmony with people 40 years younger.
PD is a drug addict and you cannot ignore that fact. The music business flows on drugs and it's hard to avoid that lifestyle - restraint is not a word any rock star can utter without coming over hypocritical. Pete Doherty has chosen to go down that path and, frankly, if PK didn't talk to Pete about his addiction he would not be conducting a professional interview. The public interest is served when the interviewer asks the difficult as well as the easy questions.
I'm not holding a light for Kenny but, bearing in mind I didn't see the interview, Doherty is not a figure of restraint. To be fair to him he'd probably be a more interesting subject to read about in the NME rather than an appearance on live television. In the pages of that rag Doherty would be able to roam free of anything that might offend him, or his many fans.
I was out drinking with the staff of TOTALLY DUBLIN last Friday night and was blissfully unaware that Pete Doherty was appearing on that night's LATE LATE SHOW. Even had I known of his presence I wouldn't care a tuppence. PD or his music does not remotely interest me.
But there has been some anger generated by Pat Kenny's interview style, specifically referring to Doherty as a 'junkie'. Some of the criticism directed at Kenny was justified and it is true he probably is out of touch with music the Babyshambles star is famous for. Pat is 61 and by that age you have a way of living that may not be in harmony with people 40 years younger.
PD is a drug addict and you cannot ignore that fact. The music business flows on drugs and it's hard to avoid that lifestyle - restraint is not a word any rock star can utter without coming over hypocritical. Pete Doherty has chosen to go down that path and, frankly, if PK didn't talk to Pete about his addiction he would not be conducting a professional interview. The public interest is served when the interviewer asks the difficult as well as the easy questions.
I'm not holding a light for Kenny but, bearing in mind I didn't see the interview, Doherty is not a figure of restraint. To be fair to him he'd probably be a more interesting subject to read about in the NME rather than an appearance on live television. In the pages of that rag Doherty would be able to roam free of anything that might offend him, or his many fans.
10 February 2009
The Death Penalty
Last September, a woman (23) was stoned to death in Somalia. Her alleged crime was stated as ‘Adultery’. In some countries this punishment can be justified due for reasons such as: homosexuality, political dissent, rape, adultery. Very often these ‘crimes’, are sometimes in conflict with fanatical religious organisations. However the woman’s sister told Women Living Under Muslim Laws (WLUML) that “the stoning was totally irreligious and illogical". The Somali authorities may say that the punishment was acceptable in Islamic law but pain is pain in anyone’s language.
Here in Ireland the Catholic Church stayed silent for a long time and did not challenge capital punishment. Archbishop McQuaid could have been more vocal on that issue as some of his successors no doubt would be. The last person to be hanged here was in 1954 and there is zero chance that anyone would be deprived of life, in this way, by the state these days.
The murders of Dt Garda Jerry Mc Cabe, Shane Geoghan, Robert Holohan, and many others have not been punished by execution and most civilised nations do not resort to capital punishment in modern times. Governments should not be taking life. In Ireland there is a very strong lobby against Abortion and whenever the subject is up for discussion many people feel outraged. How can it be acceptable for there to be protection (anti-abortion) of life that goes side by side with capital punishment?
In the case of the murder of Jill Dando, Barry George, the chief suspect, was found to be innocent. Mr George, it was later revealed in a Sky News interview, had mental difficulties and clearly had no way of rebuffing his accusers, the Police. If the death sentence were allowed in the UK it is likely that George would now be dead – a huge miscarriage of justice.
In conclusion, if slavery was re-introduced in the western world there would be an outcry. Similarly execution would be inhuman.. Perhaps the most notorious prisoner of all, Nelson Mandela, said in his memoirs, ‘Long Walk to Freedom’: “Man’s goodness is a flame that can be hidden, but never extinguished.” Everyone has the right to repent and change, even the criminal. It is for the above reasons that the death penalty is wrong and should not be allowed.
Here in Ireland the Catholic Church stayed silent for a long time and did not challenge capital punishment. Archbishop McQuaid could have been more vocal on that issue as some of his successors no doubt would be. The last person to be hanged here was in 1954 and there is zero chance that anyone would be deprived of life, in this way, by the state these days.
The murders of Dt Garda Jerry Mc Cabe, Shane Geoghan, Robert Holohan, and many others have not been punished by execution and most civilised nations do not resort to capital punishment in modern times. Governments should not be taking life. In Ireland there is a very strong lobby against Abortion and whenever the subject is up for discussion many people feel outraged. How can it be acceptable for there to be protection (anti-abortion) of life that goes side by side with capital punishment?
In the case of the murder of Jill Dando, Barry George, the chief suspect, was found to be innocent. Mr George, it was later revealed in a Sky News interview, had mental difficulties and clearly had no way of rebuffing his accusers, the Police. If the death sentence were allowed in the UK it is likely that George would now be dead – a huge miscarriage of justice.
In conclusion, if slavery was re-introduced in the western world there would be an outcry. Similarly execution would be inhuman.. Perhaps the most notorious prisoner of all, Nelson Mandela, said in his memoirs, ‘Long Walk to Freedom’: “Man’s goodness is a flame that can be hidden, but never extinguished.” Everyone has the right to repent and change, even the criminal. It is for the above reasons that the death penalty is wrong and should not be allowed.
09 February 2009
A life in buses
The comedy actor, Reg Varney, died last year aged 92. Varney starred in a 1970's comedy series called On the buses which ran for 60 TV episodes. It was a huge success and depicted bus drivers and the inspectors in a humorous light.The programme was fictional and, for the 1970's, was amusing enough.
That is where the fun ends. It's a cold and sleet filled morn and I'm waiting for a bus into town and the wait is the cause of stress. I am cursing Dublin Bus under my breath. I've been waiting for the last 20 years for buses and you never get used to it. CIE (DB's parent company) are axing hundreds of jobs and the fleet of buses, according to media reports, is to be reduced by 10 per cent - 120 buses.
So there is going to be less buses to use for the average public transport commuter. But the really annoying fact is that my five-day bus ticket has jumped from E18.50 up to E20. How's that for an insult? The service is getting worse yet DB are asking us, the passengers, to reward this bad service by increasing the costs to us. Think about it. It's like Aer Lingus telling holidaymakers to pay more on an air fare because there has been a delay. Ridiculous. Only in Ireland.
Last year it emerged that a private bus operator had been forced to close because of Dublin Bus flooding the routes that the private company ran buses on. This is typical of the anti-competitive slant we get in this country. The government would be doing us all a favour if the 120 buses mentioned above were tendered out to a private company.
On the television, last night, it was stated that one of the reasons the recession is affecting jobs was the over-reliance on foreign multi-nationals as well as the fact that unskilled workers were losing out. This must stop and a spirit of enterprise must start to take root and the people who pull the strings at DB must begin to realise that the most important people are the passengers.
My bank balance is E20 lighter each week and I would be happy to pay a private company to deliver me to my destinations - maybe they would treat their passengers/customers a little better. Competition is a good idea, not a threat as some state agencies seem to think. In the words of Jack Charlton: "Go and compete!"
That is where the fun ends. It's a cold and sleet filled morn and I'm waiting for a bus into town and the wait is the cause of stress. I am cursing Dublin Bus under my breath. I've been waiting for the last 20 years for buses and you never get used to it. CIE (DB's parent company) are axing hundreds of jobs and the fleet of buses, according to media reports, is to be reduced by 10 per cent - 120 buses.
So there is going to be less buses to use for the average public transport commuter. But the really annoying fact is that my five-day bus ticket has jumped from E18.50 up to E20. How's that for an insult? The service is getting worse yet DB are asking us, the passengers, to reward this bad service by increasing the costs to us. Think about it. It's like Aer Lingus telling holidaymakers to pay more on an air fare because there has been a delay. Ridiculous. Only in Ireland.
Last year it emerged that a private bus operator had been forced to close because of Dublin Bus flooding the routes that the private company ran buses on. This is typical of the anti-competitive slant we get in this country. The government would be doing us all a favour if the 120 buses mentioned above were tendered out to a private company.
On the television, last night, it was stated that one of the reasons the recession is affecting jobs was the over-reliance on foreign multi-nationals as well as the fact that unskilled workers were losing out. This must stop and a spirit of enterprise must start to take root and the people who pull the strings at DB must begin to realise that the most important people are the passengers.
My bank balance is E20 lighter each week and I would be happy to pay a private company to deliver me to my destinations - maybe they would treat their passengers/customers a little better. Competition is a good idea, not a threat as some state agencies seem to think. In the words of Jack Charlton: "Go and compete!"
02 February 2009
Out of work
I’ve just switched on Aertel (RTE’s teletext service) this morning: "Talks between the Government and the social partners on a plan to reduce government spending have resumed at Government Buildings......The government is seeking to cut E2bn in spending this year, and is trying to reach agreement on wider five year plan to reduce spending by E16bn. "
Sky News ran a report, over the last couple of days, in which the Irish economy came under the spotlight. One of its reporters, Stuart Ramsay, was dispatched to Dublin and his report, alongside some nice pictures of the Liffey and its environs, made for very sober viewing. A local builder showed Ramsay around a deserted building site that was now ‘dead’ – it had only been partially completed. The builder told Sky News that he had employees that were with him for over 20 years who he would no longer be able to pay and the future was looking quite bleak. All this only months ago, when the Celtic Tiger was roaring, could not have been foreseen.
Waterford Wedgewood, Dell and redundancies at CIE and other businesses and services nationwide, are all leading to an increase in unemployment. Whilst the government worries about spending, large organisations either crash (Woolworths, Zavvi) or, they reduce the work force significantly (M&S, Superquinn).
Each day, on my way to college, I walk past the snaking queue, out onto the street, for those seeking welfare payments. It is a sorry sight: many would not have expected to be in the position of looking for work only a year ago. The construction business is being hit badly and bricklayers and builders, some who left school without formal qualifications, are now faced with the harsh economic reality that everyone curses about: The Recession.
The economic problems such as those outlined above are being analysed closely by the media but it is the individual that is just as important, the human cost. How is bread put on the table? Can couples have a bigger family? Can we pay off the mortgage? Will we have to sell the car? How will I get alternative employment?
With less money being spent retailers are being badly hit at the moment. Maybe there were too many shops in this country anyway. I was in the library yesterday and looking at books on the economy. One of the books quoted Dr Garret FitzGerald (keeping the Celtic Tiger “purring”, in his words). It seems that no-one thought the striped cat would ever die.
But being made redundant, as I can testify, is no picnic. There are predictions that unemployment will rise and rise. Across Europe the picture is much the same with rioting in France, UK and Russia being reported by the media – arising out of the economic downturn. At this point the future looks more uncertain than ever and it feels like everyone is being tangled up in this web.
The tennis from Melbourne is on the television at the moment but they’ve lost the sound, seems nothing is working. Ah! that reminds me there’s work in Australia (and a heat wave too). So maybe it’s not such a bad time to go under…….
Sky News ran a report, over the last couple of days, in which the Irish economy came under the spotlight. One of its reporters, Stuart Ramsay, was dispatched to Dublin and his report, alongside some nice pictures of the Liffey and its environs, made for very sober viewing. A local builder showed Ramsay around a deserted building site that was now ‘dead’ – it had only been partially completed. The builder told Sky News that he had employees that were with him for over 20 years who he would no longer be able to pay and the future was looking quite bleak. All this only months ago, when the Celtic Tiger was roaring, could not have been foreseen.
Waterford Wedgewood, Dell and redundancies at CIE and other businesses and services nationwide, are all leading to an increase in unemployment. Whilst the government worries about spending, large organisations either crash (Woolworths, Zavvi) or, they reduce the work force significantly (M&S, Superquinn).
Each day, on my way to college, I walk past the snaking queue, out onto the street, for those seeking welfare payments. It is a sorry sight: many would not have expected to be in the position of looking for work only a year ago. The construction business is being hit badly and bricklayers and builders, some who left school without formal qualifications, are now faced with the harsh economic reality that everyone curses about: The Recession.
The economic problems such as those outlined above are being analysed closely by the media but it is the individual that is just as important, the human cost. How is bread put on the table? Can couples have a bigger family? Can we pay off the mortgage? Will we have to sell the car? How will I get alternative employment?
With less money being spent retailers are being badly hit at the moment. Maybe there were too many shops in this country anyway. I was in the library yesterday and looking at books on the economy. One of the books quoted Dr Garret FitzGerald (keeping the Celtic Tiger “purring”, in his words). It seems that no-one thought the striped cat would ever die.
But being made redundant, as I can testify, is no picnic. There are predictions that unemployment will rise and rise. Across Europe the picture is much the same with rioting in France, UK and Russia being reported by the media – arising out of the economic downturn. At this point the future looks more uncertain than ever and it feels like everyone is being tangled up in this web.
The tennis from Melbourne is on the television at the moment but they’ve lost the sound, seems nothing is working. Ah! that reminds me there’s work in Australia (and a heat wave too). So maybe it’s not such a bad time to go under…….
26 January 2009
British politics in the 1980’s
In 1979, following Jim Callaghan’s inability to stand up to the trade unions, the Conservatives came to power. Mrs Thatcher was Prime Minister and the British people were given a wake-up call. Thatcher was the classic autocrat, rather like former US president GW Bush. Once she had a position on an issue she wouldn’t move. “The lady’s not for turning”. This, along with the Falklands war and her attitude towards Ireland, would help define her political leadership. Thatcher angered many people: her contempt for the unions, her embrace of nuclear arms and the failure to challenge the racist regime in South Africa were some of the issues that characterised her time in office.
In regard to Ulster, this writer has some sympathy. In 1979 her colleague, Airey Neave, was killed in a car bomb attack in the House of Commons car park and, in 1990, the Conservative MP Ian Gowe was murdered in a similar way. Both at the hands of the IRA. These events along with the bombing of the Conservative Party Conference (1984), made it hard for Thatcher to trust, never mind agree, with Irish politicians of any political persuasion. It is pretty clear she didn’t see eye-to-eye with the then Taoiseach, Charles Haughey.
But British political history of the 1980’s will cite the economic transformation that occurred during the 18 year Conservative rule (1979-1997). In that time the UK economy flourished and many companies that had been under government control were privatised. At the same time Labour didn’t endear itself to the voters and lost elections mainly because they were unable to clarify their taxation policy. ‘Labour isn’t working’ was the legend on Conservative election billboards – reminding everyone of the dire economic state of Britain in the late 1970’s under Labour.
Throughout the 1980’s the UK government held steadfastly to an aggressive defence policy. Nuclear weapons were seen as the best deterrent against any military threat. US president, Ronald Reagan was a staunch ally of the ‘Iron Lady’ and the two leaders prided themselves on their respective, united, foreign policies. Some commentators have praised Thatcher for bringing Russia (then known as the Soviet Union) to heal. But it was the emergence of a moderate leader in the Kremlin, Mikhail Gorbachev, that came a distance to making peace with the west after years of distrust. Thatcher and Reagan, it is fair to say, didn’t make any real concessions. It was the softer tone of Gorbachev that took Russia out of the ‘Cold War’ while the leadership of the US and UK wanted to keep the relationship with Moscow firmly in the deep freeze.
At the close of the decade however, Mrs Thatcher’s popularity, among Conservative voters, had been exhausted. The crazy policy of the Poll Tax made her extremely unpopular and subsequently her colleagues in cabinet, most notably Geoffrey Howe and Nigel Lawson, no longer felt they could tolerate her. By the end of 1990 Thatcher was no longer Prime Minister and British politics was once again in transition.
Obviously John Major (her successor as party leader and Prime Minister) had little charisma, however he was definitely not an autocrat and the future looked less fraught. Along with better relations with the Irish government (under Albert Reynolds) the ‘Peace Process’ in Ulster went up a gear. A new era had dawned and the word progress could be spoken again. The polarisation of British politics had come to an end and with it the career of one of the UK’s most controversial leaders.
19 January 2009
The importance of moderation.
Arguing and losing one’s temper may be hard to avoid at times but it is moderation that brings us to our senses. No matter how spectacular the row, we can be reconciled by moderation but it requires guts, and the ability to see ‘the big picture’, to reach that point. By not understanding our duties to keep a lid on things we only cause hurt and bitterness to ourselves and others.
The people of Israel and the Gaza militants should be aware of the need to be moderate, otherwise the alternative is destruction. In recent weeks the Israeli’s have been bombing Gaza. In order to try and get a glimmer of knowledge on the problems there, it is EXTREMELY important that a moderate position is adhered to. In Dublin, last week, the Irish ‘Friends of Israel’ group marched to Leinster House only to be confronted by pro-Palestinian activists. Unfortunately there were some unseemly scenes and, even if no-one was injured, it was a sad and sorry event. Thousands of miles from Gaza, in a different country, the same factional conflict was being replicated – horrible.
The gas being brought through Europe from Russia is of vital importance to us. Even more so to the eastern European nations, closer to Russia. These countries frequently suffer harsh winters of sub-zero temperatures. If negotiations had failed, in allowing the importation of gas, many people would quite literally freeze. Moderation is essential in a situation like that.
Our neighbours in Ulster would never be co-operating together in government if it weren’t for the ending of republican violence alongside the recognition of the rights of nationalism by Unionists and the ‘peace process’ has given the opportunity for Ulster folk to take more of a responsibility for their lives. A positive development.
But not only eastern Europe and Northern Ireland have benefited from moderation, central Europe is no longer in conflict. Flanders is now at peace. In the aftermath of World War Two, a war in which many millions died, Europe was divided. It is now, in 2009, more united than ever. Most of the rowing is now not about territorial control: German – Franco relations couldn’t be closer and that is a stunning achievement when you consider the wars fought through the centuries between these two fine countries.
No, the problems Europe faces now are mainly to do with economic matters. England and France will never go to war over the ‘Common Agriculture Policy’. There are different ways of objecting these days. Indeed so united is Europe that it has its own currency in most of its member states – the Euro. We have come a distance and that is due to moderation.
Difficulties, no matter how bad, cannot be remedied without moderate ideas coming to the fore. Indeed the world will be in constant paralysis without the George Mitchell’s (NI peace process), Kofi Annan’s (United Nations) or the Nelson Mandela’s of this world – all moderate men. It is true ‘united we stand, divided we fall’. Moderation is the Holy Grail, it is not through extremism that humanity develops. If only more of us could understand this we would all be better for it. We would be free to love and not to hate.
The people of Israel and the Gaza militants should be aware of the need to be moderate, otherwise the alternative is destruction. In recent weeks the Israeli’s have been bombing Gaza. In order to try and get a glimmer of knowledge on the problems there, it is EXTREMELY important that a moderate position is adhered to. In Dublin, last week, the Irish ‘Friends of Israel’ group marched to Leinster House only to be confronted by pro-Palestinian activists. Unfortunately there were some unseemly scenes and, even if no-one was injured, it was a sad and sorry event. Thousands of miles from Gaza, in a different country, the same factional conflict was being replicated – horrible.
The gas being brought through Europe from Russia is of vital importance to us. Even more so to the eastern European nations, closer to Russia. These countries frequently suffer harsh winters of sub-zero temperatures. If negotiations had failed, in allowing the importation of gas, many people would quite literally freeze. Moderation is essential in a situation like that.
Our neighbours in Ulster would never be co-operating together in government if it weren’t for the ending of republican violence alongside the recognition of the rights of nationalism by Unionists and the ‘peace process’ has given the opportunity for Ulster folk to take more of a responsibility for their lives. A positive development.
But not only eastern Europe and Northern Ireland have benefited from moderation, central Europe is no longer in conflict. Flanders is now at peace. In the aftermath of World War Two, a war in which many millions died, Europe was divided. It is now, in 2009, more united than ever. Most of the rowing is now not about territorial control: German – Franco relations couldn’t be closer and that is a stunning achievement when you consider the wars fought through the centuries between these two fine countries.
No, the problems Europe faces now are mainly to do with economic matters. England and France will never go to war over the ‘Common Agriculture Policy’. There are different ways of objecting these days. Indeed so united is Europe that it has its own currency in most of its member states – the Euro. We have come a distance and that is due to moderation.
Difficulties, no matter how bad, cannot be remedied without moderate ideas coming to the fore. Indeed the world will be in constant paralysis without the George Mitchell’s (NI peace process), Kofi Annan’s (United Nations) or the Nelson Mandela’s of this world – all moderate men. It is true ‘united we stand, divided we fall’. Moderation is the Holy Grail, it is not through extremism that humanity develops. If only more of us could understand this we would all be better for it. We would be free to love and not to hate.
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