Why I’m not a fan of Uncle Sam

Apple pie, Independence Day, state of the union. These are things that enthral Americans. Not me though. Even as my compatriots across Ireland enthuse and are enraptured by the US, I remain unexcited. The Irish it seems are devoted to anything ‘stateside’. Indeed many teenagers in Dublin speak with an American twang, humorously dubbed the ‘Tallafornian’ accent.

Most television here features plenty of soaps, comedies, ‘reality’ shows, quizzes and films taken from American networks and programmes such as 24, Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City and The Wire , as well as many others, are constantly talked about in the Irish media and there’s plenty of chatter about the coolest new trends. Much is taken from American life to suit young Irish minds and bodies.

It is true that we owe much to American culture but I don’t want, or need, to have it rammed down my throat. Sinfully, I like the ambience and simplicity of Irish life and no amount of ‘cookies’ or ‘candy’ will change that. RTE, Americana lovers themselves, are currently screening a documentary series, presented by Charlie Bird, about ordinary life in the US. Despite my cynicism, viewing it is a thrill. But Bird, a thoroughly professional broadcaster, even admitted he wanted to return to the Emerald Isle.

Many of my contemporaries have turned their backs on Ireland and moved (temporarily or permanently) to the USA. It has been said that if U2 had stayed in Ireland they would still be playing gigs in the Baggot Inn, not stadiums across the world. There’s no doubt if they want to make it in show business, Irish artists and entertainers must move abroad. But why America?

I don’t begrudge for one second anyone seeking success. If people have their lives enriched by moving across the Atlantic, they are to be applauded. But a minority of Irish people have not stepped on American soil and I’m one of them. The USA holds little or nothing for me. “It’ll broaden you’re perspective”, people say to me but I am unimpressed. Even the ‘big apple’ holds no charms for this fat little Dubliner. American life, despite the music and celluloid wonders they export around the world, is based on greed and gluttony (we’ve got plenty of that here too, by the way).

My intrepid sister, who once made a trip to Chicago, relayed tales of gross obesity among the locals when she returned to Ireland. While I’ve no doubt she enjoyed herself, my sister had nothing to say that would entice me to buy a ticket and go to the land of ‘Uncle Sam’. This writer will never willingly trek to such a large, unforgiving land mass. I don’t need to go there to enjoy apple pie and won’t be watching any American television soon either. No ‘green card’ for me, thank you!