Strained Relationships

Its been all over the tabloids for weeks and at last some form of result has been reached. Cheryl and Ashley are no longer a couple. Cole will remain Cole and Cole will, most likely, revert to Tweedy.

Another relationship that has been damaged, this weekend, is that of John Terry and Wayne Bridge. Terry’s wife may have gotten over her husband’s transgressions, but his England team-mate is, presumably, not as easily placated. Bridge refused to shake Terry’s hand at the Man City v Chelsea match on Saturday.

Broken relationships, though, are not all about famous Football players and models. Closer to home we, the public, are treated to the infidelity of Iris Robinson. Mrs Robinson’s affair with a 19 year old must have shaken Northern Ireland’s First Minister to his core. How can Peter Robinson put on a suit each morning in the full knowledge that his marriage is damaged? ‘A teenaged boy is satisfying my wife in a way I cannot’, he may be thinking. One can only sympathise with any man or woman who has had to experience their partner involving themselves in an affair.

Tiger Woods hasn’t been as honest on the marital front either. The talented golfer no longer can claim to have a blemish-free reputation. Woods is currently receiving treatment for sex addiction. Apparently his wife is sticking by him and she must be commended for her loyalty. It would be of considerable interest to hear her side of the story, by the way.

Irish broadcaster, Ryan Tubridy (‘young fogey’ as he’s been described by some in the media) is also no stranger to marriage break up. The Late Late Show host was only three years with his wife when their relationship ended. What links the Robinson story to Tubridy’s is the cool-headed approach. Neither man allowed trauma to get in the way of their working lives, despite the newspapers’ bellowing. Robinson and Tubridy have shown they can cope with the emotional pain thrust in their way. This is testament to their professional attitude, be that in the fields of politics or the media.

Of course life is full of heartache. We will all have to endure, at some stage in life, an amount of pain in a relationship. But there are different ways of overcoming break ups. Hillary Clinton and Pauline Prescott are two women who have remained at their husband’s side even though their spouses weren’t as faithful as they ought to have been. Many would have been less forgiving and Peter Robinson, in this regard, deserves respect for the support he has given his wife.

In the celebrity driven world we inhabit sex is everywhere and many (women as well as men) are tempted by the constant sexual imagery exploding out of magazines and the internet. Sex is glamorously portrayed in the media but is it as much fun as we are led to believe? What large parts of the media forget is that sex isn’t the beginning, middle or end in a relationship. Nor should financial strength be a factor in getting a partner, as suggested by some. A person should be just as suitable for romance even if they have little in the bank.

Being single may not be as bad as I thought. Would I be better off remaining on my own without a girlfriend? I can’t offer the financial security of a Terry, a Bridge or a Tubridy. Nor do I resemble their svelte physiques, but maybe I can learn how to show respect to a suitor if I’m lucky enough to enter a relationship. I’ve had plenty of rejection by women and my self-esteem has suffered. ‘Why?’, ‘what did I do wrong?’ are but two of the questions that I have asked myself in the past following refusal.

But the single person should not wallow in tears. Getting off your arse and helping others, aside from romance, is the way to live. Otherwise the challenges that life throws up will overcome us and only cause bitterness, poison everything we do. Never forget the wonderful potential each of us possesses. We all matter in this world and that doesn’t depend on being in a relationship. Although if the opportunity comes into view, it shouldn’t be shunned. Regardless how much rejection comes my way I still believe there’s a good chance that I’ll find the right woman. Hope has not deserted the battlefield, just yet.