We need agony uncles as well as agony aunts

Sheana Keane, the well known thirtysomething broadcaster, is now acting as an ‘Agony Aunt’ on The Irish Independent (each Saturday). This week she had to advise a ‘doctor’ whose complaint was his inability to find a suitor. Even though the ‘doctor’ had enough money and good prospects, he was unhappy on his own. Being single was not what he wanted.

Sheana hits the nail on the head in her response: “Take your friend’s advice and stop actively looking for love. Instead, focus on building a life that excites and stimulates you.” That’s all well and good, Sheana, you’re a female. Many women dislike sex. They only go through the ‘act’ in the hope of becoming pregnant. Men are different. Sex is hardwired into the male psyche, it’s part of daily life.

Further proof of Keane’s ignorance regarding men’s desires comes in the penultimate paragraph of her rather longwinded lecture: “Take away the self-imposed pressure of finding love and this approach will help you feel and radiate a quiet internal confidence. No deep life analysis, no pressure, just pure life enjoyment.” - This from a married woman! “No pressure” is fine coming from an agony aunt but from a male perspective the ‘advice’ offered is pretty weak, perhaps useless.

It would give a better insight if an ‘agony uncle’ gave his advice on a case such as this. Women are wonderful in so many ways but in any case of male sexual inadequacy the ‘agony aunt’ needs to take a back seat. Sheana did say, however, that a single man should not become desperate and this is, indeed, sound advice. The enduring aspect, to men’s lives now surrounds love and sex and that’s difficult to avoid.

I’ve just finished my two-year course in journalism. I found one of the women in my class quite attractive and I genuinely cared for her. But my interest was not reciprocated and I had to accept, with great difficulty, this sad reality. Men should have the sensibility to realise this ‘roadblock’ and navigate around it. Sheana’s ‘advice’ does not take on board the passion that lies at the heart of every man. This can be better articulated by an ‘agony uncle’ and would provide a more rounded piece of ‘advice’ for the likes of our ‘doctor’.

This, though, is no negative assessment on Sheana Keane who, I’m sure, can deliver well intentioned words on many thorny questions. But advice sought by a man, on the subject of sexual relations, needs to be given by a man, not in this case, by a woman. Last time I checked we had two genders and both deserve our respect and attention.